they wanted him to be a nice chap, they controlled him in every
aspect. It's very good that when everyone saw him, they would praise
him that he was a good boy, obedient, hard working , polite......
When he was promoted to secondary school, troubles came. His parents
controlled him very strictly, as usual, thinking that he was not
mature enough to manage his time or even his work . They arranged
all his schedules for him. For him, though, finding that there were
lots of activities held by the school was more important. So, struggles
occurred and lasted for years! At first, he obeyed them just
a little lamb, not daring to argue. For example, he wanted to learn
tennis, they thought it was a waste of time to have sports and refused
to let him try it. He could do nothing but walk back to his own
gloomy room. They thought that the first thing to do is to study,
the second priority is still to study,...... putting
aside. Eventually, his tolerance reached the peak and he acted vigorously
like a volcano: he wanted to go to his friend's home to play with
him. They said no as usual, and this time, he was so frustrated
that he couldn't stand it anymore and he ran out of his home. This
is the so-called : 'first defence'. The second and third would then
come more frequently, totally out of his parents' expectation, but
they still didn't realize that their child had grown up and needed
more freedom and space for himself to live healthily. They just
thought that their child only needed knowledge and
the importance of other things such as friendship,
This sort of thinking was absolutely wrong and would do harm to
the child. So actions done by him were quite normal.
into puberty, he began focusing on girls. Eventually, he dated
a girl, Gigi. Because of the strict rules from his parents, he
had to hide the truth. At home, his parents always picked up the
phone first. No girls had ever phoned him. So when they wanted
to talk on the phone, Gigi phoned Tim, a friend of Brian first.
After that, by using conference call, the new technology in telecommunications,
she phoned Brian having Tim's voice to ask for Brian. Then Tim
would hang up and those would remain were Gigi and Brian. Every
time, they talked for hours and that's why when HK Telecom wanted
to change the means of charging by recording the time used, many
people came out and opposed this proposal. When they went out,
they had to pay extra attention to their surroundings. If they
saw friends or relatives, they had to separate from each other
in 0.02 seconds --- as prompt as possible. One day his mother
asked, 'Where have you been yesterday?' 'Causeway Bay. What's
the matter?' 'My colleague saw you walking along the street. Is
that right? And holding hands with a girl! How's she?' "Hey mum,
she isn't my girlfriend. Yes, I was with her yesterday, but not
holding hands, certainly she is a good friend of mine, but only
is a girl.' 'Is that so?' But my colleague said that......' 'Oh,
her eyes must have some problems!' And he fled to his room in
9.8 seconds for a distance of 100 metres.
last, they were caught red-handed by his parents in the same cinema.
Back home, the prosecutors asked soberly, 'Why did you tell lies?'
The defendant answered, 'Please forgive me. I didn't want to but
you made me.' 'What?' 'It's because when we talked about dating
before, you criticized it a lot. I was afraid you would oppose
it if I told you the truth, so......' His parents came to a dead
silence. Their naive image of their child broke away; not because
of his lies, but because they finally realized that this boy was
no longer the one from the past. He now had his own values and
independent thoughts. He was an adult now and strict rules were
invalid to him. He needed more space to live, to think, to move.
From the above story, we can see that expectations are continuously
imposed by parents. Is it true for all families in the world?
I think it is, maybe for your family there are subtle differences.
It's simply because expectations from your parents stems from
love. All parents on Earth love their children so much that they
would prepare all the best for them, protect them from being harmed.
Though you may think that this expectation is harsh, when you
are a parent in the future, it will dawn upon you.